"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

WW Wednesday: 20 in 20 - Week 10

Half way there!

Well it has been a crazy 10 weeks.  I myself am not on track to lose 20 pounds by the end of this Challenge, but I have indeed lost.
When I started this journey 55 weeks ago, I never told myself "I want to lose X-amount of pounds by the time I turn 30."
Nope.  I just told myself, "If you keep at it, you can feel and look better than you have in years by the time you are 30."  That was 57 pounds ago.

Counting my slight gain today, I have had a net loss of 4.4 pounds in the last 10 weeks.
That is like 18 sticks of butter no longer sticking to my body.  Yes, I could have done a lot better, but facts are facts and I'm moving forward.

As I said Monday, I'm not going to share my exact numbers every week from now on, but I will tell you what kind of week it has been.  I might even share my total at the end of the Challenge.  I might even do a Before & After picture if I'm not too chicken.  :)

So, as for Week 10, I had a little gain.  Nothing happened because of it, though.  I'm still the same person.  My clothes still fit.  I look the same in the mirror.  No biggie... it happens.
I'm so over over-examining this.

How are the rest of my Challenge participants doing? I'm ready to listen.  Amber, where's my cheerleader?

(Aw, I miss Kodi.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Putting words in her mouth

We recently replaced our dearly departed point-n-shoot camera.  This afternoon I took BabyCakes out on the porch to try it out.  Please forgive the shamefully sappy/vomit-inducing faux-scripting of the events that took place.  What can I say?  I'm wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt right now.  I'm feeling a little corny today.  Without further embarrassment ado...

"Hey Mom, What's that UPS man up to?"

"Maybe he has something for me in that truck."

"I've been really good lately.  I think I deserve-- I mean, I've been really cute lately."

 "I know that box is for me.  I'm gonna check it out."

"Nope, I was wrong."

"Mom, How much longer till my birthday?"

Monday, September 26, 2011


Better late than never, right?

To be honest I haven't done anything to further my educational goals this week.
I take that back.  I made a decision that should make the task of going back to school easier.

For a while now I haven't done much with my etsy shop.  I've let it sit and languish.
I have plenty of items in my closet and garage that I could list for sale (my husband can attest to that), but in the end it wasn't enough.
Yes, I enjoy the hunt and I enjoy taking the pictures of my items.
But the actual business of it all with writing descriptions, packaging, and shipping... notsomuch.

Now, I know that I'm fortunate to be able to say "Hey, I don't like this as much as I thought I would, so I'll just not do it anymore."  But the truth of the matter is that at this point, the only reason I would continue would be out of fear of being seen as a failure or a flake.
And you know what?  My other goals are more important than an irrational fear of what someone might possibly be thinking of me.

(That's my BigBoy's "think of me what you want" face for you.)

I had to try it.  I learned from it.  I didn't sit around wondering what might have happened.
Also, I see now that it was mostly a way for me to put off dealing with the larger picture.
Going back to school and getting a degree will serve my family more than the extra money I made from my shop.
Come next semester, there will be one less distraction for me to deal with.

In the spirit of making changes and learning from what doesn't work for me, I've decided to stop sharing my exact numbers gained or lost on the scale every week on my WW Wednesdays.
I'm returning to my old tried-and-true method of starting. over. every. day.
No matter how much I tried to convince myself that a little challenge was okay, the truth is that for me, it's not what I like or what keeps me on track.
The pressure of it threw me off and made it not fun.  Getting healthier is supposed to be a good thing!  Not something that causes you anxiety.

Of course I am still moving forward in my weight-loss efforts, but I'm going to stick with my "Any amount down is alright with me" attitude about it all.
Again, I tried it.  I learned from it.  Now I'm doing what's best for me instead of getting so off-track I can't see the path anymore.

So, come Wednesday I will share how my week has been, but not numerically.  I'm sure I'll share my total around my big B-Day, though.  :)

Challenge participants, please feel free to continue in your efforts!
I support you all in achieving your goals in ways that work FOR YOU.
Thank you for understanding that I had to shake things up for myself and my life, and please feel free to continue to share your progress in whatever manner you wish.
The only thing that is changing is that *I* am not sharing my numbers, nor am I holding myself to set number goals during the remaining 10 weeks of the Challenge.

So, anyone else MAKIN IT HAPPEN this week?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

WW Wednesday: 20 in 20 - Week 9

Yep, it's Wednesday and of course that means I attended my Weight Watchers meeting.
Walking up to the scale today I felt pretty good.  
YES, I ate out a couple times in the last week and NO I didn't get the steamed veggies on the menu, but I did pretty well balancing those heavier meals with modest normal-time (lunch at home with a toddler, etc.) choices. 
I even got in a little exercise.

So, I stepped up -- no, wait a minute, let me back up...  

So, I put down my bag and took off my flip flips and my sweater (I had a shirt on underneath - I'm not that desperate for fewer ounces on the scale), stepped up, and weighed in.  

Down 0.8.  


I wasn't surprised.  

I was a little disappointed but not a little surprised.

I think the main reason my weight loss feels so slow these days is because I'm really trying to go about doing it in a livable way.  I'm not really "trying" to lose weight.

I know myself way too well to think that I could sustain a lifestyle containing zero fat.  Or carbs.  Or sugar.  
I eat processed foods.  I drink diet soda.  I still don't really like never eat salads.
There are definitely things I could do to accelerate the process, but it's not worth it to me to hit "goal" a month or two sooner.

The biggest difference in my eating now is that I  try to make sure it's "worth it."

Are the kids' goldfish worth it?  No.
But a Dove bar on a bad day? HELL Yeah!  (sorry, mom and dad)

(Interesting, I just realized that doves are often associated with peace and I often crave Dove when I am looking for peace.  Kudos to their marketing people.  I mean little "k" kudos and not big "K" Kudos since I don't think the Dove marketing staff would like a basket of Kudos in their chocolate filled paradise office.  Hmm... I wonder if they are hiring?  Wow, I am way off-track.)

Anyway, I am going to "try" to lose weight for the duration of the 20 in 20 Challenge, however.  
Having a short-term goal that kicks you into gear isn't a bad thing, and I think I could use it.  
I've been at this for a year now!

So, where my Challenge peeps at? ;)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Lookie Lookie!

On the top right-hand side of my blaaahg, you can now enter your email address to have new posts sent straight to your inbox!

See y'all tomorrow for WW Wednesday!

BabyCakes' Nursery Changes, The Sequel

Remember when I showed you how we changed BabyCakes' nursery around?
Well a couple days ago we decided to take it a step further.  Upon the hub's urging, we broke out the toddler bed.  It had been too many months of her waking up once or twice (or more) during the night and we had to try something different.

So we pushed the crib up against the closet and crammed in the toddler bed.
(Like the mess?  I'll explain that in a bit.)

So much for access to my vacuum/ her clothes. :/ 
We wanted to be certain she was ready for her big girl bed before disassembling the crib.  
After two nights of uninterrupted sleep (holla!), we were sold.  She even napped well for me yesterday.

But then came today.

This is what I found during what was supposed to be my therapy/chocolate time her nap time.

At least she was thorough.  Not one part of her room was spared.  There were even dirty diapers (ewww!) on the floor.

Eventually she gave up after I lovingly yet firmly told her to stay in her bed 3 or 4 times.

And NOW she is asleep.

We have 10 whole minutes before we leave to pick up BigBoy from school.

The toddler bed is here to stay, but maybe the crib wasn't so bad after all.

Monday, September 19, 2011


What did I do to work toward my educational goals this week?

I finished my application process for Community College.
Not too hard.  It's basically a BOGO-class-free kind of school.

Not really.  That was mean.

What can you expect when you install a drive-thru for Admissions, though?

Again, not really.  Just being mean.

I think my blood sugar is low.
And the kids are fighting with each other.

At least I wasn't the mom who ran out of gas and had to leave her Cherokee in the carpool lane this afternoon.
That had to be embarrassing.
I saw her frantic note written in fading ink waving out her window as I slowly went around the vehicle.
It's the mom-o-elementary-aged-children version of wearing clothes in public that are secretly smeared with baby poop.
And spit-up.
With toothpaste on your shirt... if you even got to brush your teeth.

To run out of gas in the carpool lane, things have to be pretty hectic.
Not judgin, just sayin.

After all, I have that toothpaste on my shirt today... and it's not even mine.

Again...  not really.

But I feel like I do. ;)

How are the rest of you making your goals happen?

Friday, September 16, 2011

This is her Panda Impression

I don't think pandas usually have squinty-cheesy-toddler grins, though.


I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Double Trouble

BigBoy and BabyCakes are really siblings now.  Not just one child putting up with the other's baby needs. They play together, love on each other, and pick on each other.

They've held hands in the car before (their idea completely), so when I saw them doing it again yesterday I knew I would want a picture to remember it by.  We came to a stop and I reached around with my phone.  Luckily this is what I got.

After we got to our destination I snapped another.  Aren't they sweet?!  (Actually, I see them more as partners in crime.)

Goodness knows I'm going to need evidence of this one day.  They are siblings, after all.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

WW Wednesday: 20 in 20 - Week 8

Hi there my friends, family, and beloved blaaahg readers!  Today is the day I look forward to  dread know will come around at least once a week.  :)
Yep, Wednesday is here and with it my Weight Watchers meeting and weigh-in.

If you've kept up with my blaaahg at all in the last year you know that I have worked to gradually change how I make decisions regarding food and activity level.
It hasn't always been easy but it has been interesting, sometimes fun, and always educational.
I've learned a lot about myself.

Like I said, some days can be harder than others, and some (increasingly rare) days I even have a pity party.
I wonder why I have to make a conscious decision to not do things like eat ice cream for breakfast.

I mean come on -- I'm almost 30!

Wasn't I supposed to grow out of junk food?
Why do I still struggle with making the responsible choices regarding food?
I pay my bills on time, make sure my kids are as clean as the little snot monsters (I say with love) can be, and almost never go over 5 miles over the speed limit.
Yet I still struggle with food...

"I thought, 'Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' But it is the spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding." ~ Job 32:7-8

Yes, I have my days.

But then I get over myself.

There are real problems that real people in this world have to deal with.  I am blessed beyond reason and I remind myself of that as much as possible.

My life is not perfect and if you catch at the right angle sometimes it ain't even pretty, but when you bring it in to focus, I'm clearly surrounded by beauty.

For a recap, this week was more difficult for me than others.
I've been treading water.  Fighting back the urges hard.  Not wanting to disappoint those taking part in my Challenge. Not wanting to disappoint myself or my family. Not praying but yet asking for help from mere humans, and being disappointed when people don't read my mind and send words of support on my blaaahg.

I very well might be up at the scale.

All the same, today I feel lighter in spirit, if not in pounds.

I'll take it.

I'll check back in the comments section after my meeting today... How did the rest of you do?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

BabyCakes' Nursery Changes

Before you read this post, please forgive the photos.  The lighting was not great.  If you'd like to compare her new room to her original nursery, you can see that post here.

In case you hadn't noticed, BabyCakes is quickly leaving behind the baby part of her nickname.

She's turning into a little girl.  One of the things she learned to do a few months ago was reach over and turn the overhead light on while standing in the crib.
You can imagine that that caused some problems during sleep time.
Because the desk and dresser are attached with straps to the walls, my obvious solution was to shift the bed closer to the closet so she could no longer reach the light switch.
I did that, but after months of having six inches to retrieve her clothes and the vacuum I store in there, it got OLD.

So, I moved the bed again.  I know it's not the prettiest layout but it's what works best for us right now.

(Notice the toys on the floor?  I left those out for you to get a feel for how her room really looks.)

See!  I can now fully open the closet door!

The basket on the floor houses all her babydolls.

I added a removable hook to the end of the crib so we can hang her outfit for the next day, her jacket, whatever.
Like those wrinkles?  Just keepin it real, folks.

She still has lots of bows.  Many have come and gone but we always find one to make it work.  :)

Instead of the baby blankets that once lived here, we now have baskets to help keep toys organized.
(They are not this dark in real life.  Again -- bad lighting.)

That's her play kitchen in the corner. There is actually still a lot more room than it appears and the kids have no problems playing in there.
Like I said, not the prettiest layout but it works, and that's what's most important.

 Things have to change over time.

Monday, September 12, 2011


I accidentally had the caps lock on when I typed the post title but I like it like that.  So it's STICKIN.

As I said a couple weeks ago, I don't want goals in my life that I claim are important to fall by the wayside due to poor planning.  This is where I am going to check in with my progress toward going back to school.

My goal for last week was to reapply for admission (I've taken a class there before) to Community College.
(I'm not naming names on here.)
Well, today I did that.. mostly.  I filled out the online form to get the ball rolling and then was unable to actually log-in to my account so I could see where to go next.  After cringing and calling tech support for help, I was told that their "system" would be down all day and I should log in tomorrow.


As the wife of an IT professional -- who worked at more than one university, I might add --I find it baffling that this would be acceptable.
A whole day?  A whole day where no one has access to their school account.  And they told me like they were telling me it was Fish Stick Day in the cafeteria -- no biggie.

So, shame on me for waiting until today to officially apply.  I already contacted WKU for my transcripts, though, because it can take a week or so to get those.

So, this week I aim to finish applying and request my AP scores.

Ah, Community College.  May your mediocrity flow over me like the dirty bath water it is.

Pssst... How are the rest of your goals coming along?  Kelly? Melissa?  Anyone else want to share?

BabyCakes-less Monday Mornings

Today was BabyCakes' first morning in her PMO (Parents' Morning Out) at BigBoy's old preschool.
Every Monday from 9:00 to 11:45 will be MINE.  Well, except for the one Monday a month I will volunteer in BigBoy's Kindergarten class.
I plan to do fun stuff like dental cleanings and yearly ob/gyn appointments during this time so I can't wait!

When we left for "school" I had no worries about separation anxiety or her behavior while she would be there.  We've always had good experiences with the church nursery and the child care area at the gym.
BigBoy and I walked her in (it turns out he doesn't go back to school until Wednesday), said "Bye!", and she never looked back.  
On the way out the door I saw parents taking pictures.  Action shots of them walking into the classroom, shots of them playing with the toys, meeting their new teacher.

hmmm... never thought to do that.

After we picked her up from what was predictably a fun day for her with no crying or (thankfully) belly-bumping/bullying on her part, I saw even more cameras flashing.


I broke down and asked one nice mom if she would snap a pic of my poor neglected STRAWBERRY ( I can not emphasize enough that this is NOT a watermelon look she has going on) and email it to me.

She of course obliged and that's how you can she these gorgeous "mom the sun's in my face and I am hungry for lunch/ who is this strange lady taking my picture?" shots.

(That's my white mom-leg with the mystery dark spot on the knee.  Also, BigBoy in his beloved Toy Story shoes.)

I'm not complaining.  At least the kind woman swooped in and saved BabyCakes from another flare up of her Second Child Syndrome.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Playground Posse

This morning we met Neighbor Melissa and her girls at a playground for a while.
It is BigBoy's last day tracked-out (he's in year-round school) before going back for 9 weeks, so I wanted it to be fun.

Unfortunately Sara is quite possibly turning into a bad influence for my daughter. ;)

Even though he was the oldest child there, BigBoy still had a lot of fun.

BabyCakes maneuvered the playground equipment like a seasoned pro -- no help needed or wanted from Mama.(Yay! Waaa? Depends on the day...)

She of course ran from the camera.
I don't blame her.  I don't like having my picture taken either.

It was a gorgeous end-of-summer day.

You know, going to the playground is an activity I usually wouldn't photograph.

But these are the days I will probably want to remember the most.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yes, we went to another zoo.

I'm starting to notice a theme in the family outings I share with you.
What can I say?  I'd take pics at Target but I think they'd frown upon it.

I don't think you care much about all the animals we saw so here are just a some random photos from our morning at the Greenville Zoo.

This is a small city zoo, perfect for people with toddlers that want to walk the whole time, or anyone who's not in the best shape.

Lions are always a crowd pleaser.

As are the elephants.

Of course BigBoy had to bring the stinker face in most of the pictures I took of him.

It didn't impress BabyCakes.

Notice the adorable bandana pillowcase dress from Grandma?  BabyCakes was the one who insisted upon wearing her hat.

I love bamboo.  It reminds me of how much I want to go to Asia one day.

There were also large trees providing beautiful shade.  They just reminded me how much I want to see the redwoods of California one day. (I'm noticing another trend...)

I love that this zoo wasn't just a "clear cut cube farm" for exotic animals.  It's parklike setting could have been such a peaceful place had it not been for the toddler tantrums we enjoyed endured near the end.

But then again, it's still a zoo.  People there expect to see wild animals, right?  :)