"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What's up?

I've been a bad blaaaahger lately.

I haven't been taking a lot of photos.
I haven't written anything witty, sentimental, or even particularly interesting in a while.

What can I say?  It's summer.

 (Well, technically it's still Spring.)

No schedule.  No routine.

Playing with friends and doing what we want.

(Like how BabyCakes just goes after what she wants, no matter what or who is in the way? 
We don't call her Lil' Dozer for nothing!)


BigBoy's 5th Birthday party is this weekend.
Maybe I'll take some pictures at that, but I kind of doubt it.  Other than the obligatory candle-blowing shots, I doubt there will be much.  I'm more of an "in the moment" kind of mom. 
I don't document events very well. 

I just live them.

Let's hope the Lord blesses me with a good memory.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Baby(Cakes) Alive

Earlier this week we received a package in the mail from Grandparents. It contained BigBoy birthday presents, handmade pillowcase dresses from Grandma, and this:

The doll bounces up and down and makes baby noises!  It is soooo cute because we have our own little "Baby Alive" in our house.  She even has curly blonde hair (although it's looking a little darker in this pic) and blue eyes. 

She LOVES to bounce.  Remember this video I shared?  I think someone saw the video and then made the doll.  She even has in a bow and everyone ("everyone" as in the 3 people who read this blaaaahg) knows I love me some hair bows.  Upon further inspection, the crib is the same color of BabyCakes' nursery walls. too.

So, yes Papa, the baby doll is really cute.

But not as cute as the original.  :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

WW Wednesday

I know that it has been a whole week around here without blog posts, but I am naturally back today for WW Wednesday.
Last week I said my goal was to eat breakfast and track every day. Simple as that.
Well I did what I said I would do and it paid off with a nice loss at the scale today.
I'm still clawing my way back from a couple gains I had in previous weeks, but I'm actually trying again and it is paying off.

(Gramps insists on grandchildren pics so here's one of BigBoy with his First Birthday strawberry cupcake. His 5th is rapidly approaching and I have three Transformers pinatas to prove it!)

In the spirit of healthier eating, I'm going to tweak my spaghetti recipe tonight by adding pureed carrots to the sauce.
Of course, BigBoy still won't eat sauce but because I myself am such a child when it comes to eating healthy vegetables (who can hate a potato?), I'm going to try to trick myself.
Whole wheat spaghetti, jarred sauce, ground turkey, mushrooms in J's (yucky... I told you I'm a child about food) and pureed carrots. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh and Neighbor Stacy passed along this "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld for me to try. (Gotta love a gal with a ponytail and a sense of humor! She's married to Jerry Seinfeld.)
Stacy's an old pro at hiding veggies in food. She even puts kale in brownies!

Lesson learned this week: I really do feel better all day and make better food choices all day when I eat breakfast.

Goal for the week: Maintain tracking and breakfast-eating, and sneak in veggies to at least 3 meals extra.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

WW Wednesday

Today at WW I was feeling pretty good.  I didn't expect a gain at the scale but I wasn't sure about a loss, either.  I tracked my points (food) last week but spent 3 days out of town eating high-point foods that I didn't track but I did semi-plan-for.  My best guess was that I would have a minor loss.

And I was right.

I had a minor loss but it was a loss all the same.

Today at WW we talked about eating breakfast.  We all know we should eat breakfast.  It's not a secret that we will feel better and make better food choices throughout the entire day if we consume a reasonable breakfast.

Lesson learned this week:  Once again I learned that even when I hit a low point in this journey, it's really only that -- a low point.  All my efforts have not been lost.  I am not a different person.  I haven't failed anyone.  It is possible to just pick back up where you left off and march ahead. 
Every time it gets easier, especially when  you aren't doing it alone.  :)

It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Goals for this week:  Eat breakfast every morning.  Track every day.  Simple as that.  See the results in one week.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Very few words are needed...

Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina:

Our weekend getaway was all I could have hoped for and more.

Relaxing strolls,

Baby bathing suits,

Big smiles from BigBoys (and little girls),

Exploring new places,

Secretly encouraging the stinker in my children,

Wet curls and chubby cheeks.

Living in the moment and thanking God for our blessings.

A Tease

I can't wait to look through my pictures.

More to come...

Friday, May 13, 2011

WW Wednesday -- On Friday

Yes, I'm a little behind this week. Wednesday was NOT a fun day for me. The fact that I even attended my meeting, my meeting that I have said again and again that I will always attend when possible.

It had been a bad couple weeks in my weight-loss journey (cringe. that word.)
But I DID go. I stood on that scale and held my head high. I am not merely a number on a scale, after all.

But I knew better. I knew I gained those -- yes THOSE as in more than one -- pounds because of a lot of unhealthy choices. Lots.


And not out of a place of confidence or power. I'm not going to delve into my personal reasons for unhealthy choices, but suffice it to say, this is an area where I obviously struggle. Some days/weeks/months are easier, some aren't.
I think most people have some type of issue they struggle with. Self-confidence, anxiety, jealousy, anger-control, spending habits, drinking habits... you name it.
That's why I'm not afraid to share that this is a struggle for me.
No one wakes up and says, "You know what I think would be fun? Not fitting into my wardrobe anymore. My waistline is way too small and I think I should add a double-chin to my look. Who says your blood pressure has to be good, anyway?"
My point is, some struggles have obvious side effects.

Back to Wednesday, I attended my meeting and was furious when I got in the car. I mean spitting mad. I don't really get that way often, and I didn't exactly know why the emotion I felt was ANGER.
I later realized it was because I felt like my gain was because I had lost control. I had felt powerless to intense cravings and old habits I thought I'd broken.
Slowly but surely I had wandered so far off the set path, that I no longer knew which way to go.
Once I realized this, I felt more at peace with my recent eating habits. It was done. Over. Now to move on.

Moving on felt SO HARD, though.
I asked several people who help me on this journey (blech) to say something to motivate me, kick me in the ass, SOMETHING...

Nothing was really working. The task before me seemed harder than ever.

And then I went swimsuit shopping.

If only my chubby white legs were this cute. :)
You see, it's not that I thought I looked that bad or anything, it really wasn't a body-image issue. I just think nearly every woman out there would rather iron 74 pleated skirts than try on bathing suits.
You go in that florescently-lit cube of hope, scented by the faint whisper of bare feet and shame, put the first swimsuit of the season over your pale skin, and view the unsympathetic truth that is your body.
I'm not saying it's always bad, but it IS always honest.

I asked for a kick in the ass to reinvigorate my efforts.

I sure got it.

See you next Wednesday. You better believe I'll be back.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Strollin down the street,

Snackin Goldfish,

Sippin on Juicy Juice.

Laaaaid back.

With my mind on my mommy and my mommy on my mind.


Can I just say I love BabyCakes in this picture? She's too cool for school and certainly too cool to pose for camera phone pics.

I thought I'd tell-on myself today...

Last week I broke the rules.
MY rules.

Right after picking BigBoy up from school, the three of us went to the frozen yogurt place in our little downtown and had chocolate cones.

BEFORE lunch.

BabyCakes even got chocolate on her white shirt. (gasp!)

And I didn't care.
I'm just gangsta like that.

(Actually, I bought it at a consignment shop and it had gotten a lot of wear already. I wasn't going to ruin a fun outing by getting upset about a stain that was inevitable.)

The kids, especially BigBoy, thought it was awesome.

In truth, so did I.

What can I say, the warm weather brings out the rebel in me. ;)

Monday, May 9, 2011

"My Mother"

This is not a post about "my" mother but rather BigBoy's mother -- me.
At preschool they asked him different questions to fill in a questionnaire about me.
I thought I'd share it with you, along with some old camera phone pics of the two reasons I had a whole weekend of special attention from my 3 favorite people (most of the time :) ) in the world.

Let me tell ya, the weekend could not have come at a better time. By the time Friday rolled around I was, in an ironic twist, really not liking my job.
Of course you all know how much I love my children, but sometimes the never-ending-ness of it all can get to you. In a big way.
Like a I don't care that we are almost out of milk and bread because I still do not want to go to the grocery store ONE MORE TIME just to lug both children in and out of the store - kind of mood.
A "BigBoy, if you whine one more time I will take away every Transformer in this house," - kind of mood.
A "Will Trade Children for Chocolate" - kind of mood.

Get the picture?
I was ungrateful, exhausted, and pouting.

But then I got over it after venting a bit and reading this:
(The words in bold are BigBoy's responses.)

"My Mother"

My mother is 15 years old, but to me she seems as young as my dad.

Her favorite sport is soccer ball and she likes to play Legos with me also.

She thinks that she can make stuff the best, but it is really making cakes that she does the best. (I call this wishful-thinking on his part.)

She has taught me all kinds of things like saying words and make my bed.

Whenever I am mad she is always there to help me.

My mother makes me make my bed all the time. She makes my dad work all the time too. (Ouch! That's not fair!)

He says that she is a real Autobot! (Transformer reference, I'm honored)

My mom and I like to pray.

I love it when my mom plays with me.

All of these things make my mom great! ~BigBoy

My job might have been getting to me, but this "performance evaluation" was a great reminder of how awesome the benefits are around here.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Another Year in the Hood

The MotherHood, anyway.

This time last year I shared with you some things I learned about being a mother in the first 4 years of my job.
It's still one of my favorite posts. Let's see if I can add to it after another year of momhood, shall we?

First off, apparently you're never too young to be embarrassed by your mother.
I have gotten the looks of:
"You're a dork",

"Stop, Mom, you're embarrassing me!"

and my favorite, "I am way too cool for this."

repeatedly from my my not-yet-18-month-old daughter.

You're also never too old to be embarrassed by your mother.
This is the phone in my parents' living room. Seriously, mama?

The old rotary phone (that you never got rid of) is back?

And also, I should worry less about taming cowlicks

and wild hair,

and worry more about embracing them.

That's all I have time to add to my list today.

My two disgusting creatures precious angels need their mama...
even if she does embarrass them already.

(Of course, I don't think these pictures really help my case any.)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

WW Wednesday

This week's edition of "Weight Watcher's Wednesday" is going to be short and sweet, just like me and the chitlins.

We had a cookout last weekend and I overdid it a bit with the leftover burgers, hashbrown casserole, and brownies with ice cream. I didn't track my points, either.
All this led to a gain at the scale today. Not a bad one -- very manageable actually -- but it was a gain, nonetheless.
Such is life. I've had many weeks where I gained or only lost a little, but I didn't give up and that's why I am where I am today.

Lesson learned: If I really want to keep losing I can't be complacent. I'm going to have to MAKE it a priority again and not just SAY it's a priority.

Goal for this week: Come at it with fresh eyes and relearn the process.

(I thought it was only appropriate to share on "WW Wed" some phone pics of BabyCakes devouring a free cookie from the bakery at Target. When she was finished there was brown chocolate goo/slobberness all over her mouth. She's so dirty to be so cute! Oh, and did you notice the use of the vintage hair barrettes?)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Hoot and holler!

Why don't you take a little ride over to Bargain Hoot where I am guest posting today?

You can see my quick and easy answer to the no birthday wrapping paper dilemma and check out the rest of Rene's thrifty blaaaaahg. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Mr. T has my back.

As I told you last week, we spent the week preceding Easter visiting family and friends in Tennessee and Kentucky.
One night at my parent's house, I was looking for a bar of soap in the bathroom cabinets when I found this little guy lurking in the shadows.

"Why, is that?! Oh yes it is!" I had discovered my very first lunch box.

Mr. T, bay-bay!
(Doesn't it scream "little girl" to you? No? I'm the only one?)

When I opened it, I found a solid mass of old barrettes, sponge rollers, pins, and random 80's accessories. A side-ponytail-inducing fruitcake, of sorts.
(Why was the splatter-paint look ever so popular?)

I loved that I found some old barrettes, though. As I've mentioned before, I may have a slight hair bow addiction. I thought it might be nice to shake up BabyCakes hair accessory world with some vintage (Yes, they are considered vintage. Depressing, right?) hair barrettes.

What can I say? I'm going to put duck-shaped barrettes and colorful bows in BabyCakes' hair as long as possible.

And I pity the fool that tries to stop me.

Ok, that was corny even for me.

And now, in all his 80's glory, I present Mr. T himself to you in his rendition of "Treat Your Mother Right." Maybe you can keep his advice in mind for the fast-approaching Mother's Day. :)