"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Let's hug it out

As I mentioned earlier, I'm going to start hugging more.

I should clear up a few things first:

1. I'm not going to randomly hug people. Just women I already really like and care about and only when it has been a while since seeing them. I'm not going to say "Oh hi! I haven't seen you in 2 whole hours! Let's embrace!"

2. I'm not going to suddenly become touchy-feely. My hugs won't linger into the land of "okay... AWKWARD" and I'm not going to reach out for your hand to comfort you. Skin on skin? Shiver.
Furthermore, I will NEVER kiss someone who doesn't sleep in my house. The elusive kissing-greeters look just like the rest of us, though, so beware.

3. I'm not going to become a close-talker. You have your space and I have mine. Actually, I need more space because of my errr, top half. I shouldn't be able to smell your deoderant or lack thereof. Also, wazzup with the whisper talk?

4. I'm actually a pretty laid-back person. Though this blogpost series makes me sound like it, I do not in fact have a stick up my butt.
I don't have any intimacy issues, and I know there are people who love me.

I've just never been a hugger.

We'll see if I can change that.

My first gratuitous hug (I say gratuitous because they did not have a loved-one die and they are not a blood-relative of mine) was today with Preschool Mom #1.
She called me when I was on my way to the school and I was still laughing from my conversation about it with Rachel (she thinks I'm nuts) so I told her my plan.
Preschool Mom #1 is not a hugger either, so I told her I was going to practice on her.
(Why does that sound dirty?)
She reluctantly agreed.

I saw her. We hugged, laughed, I did a little double-pat on the back saying "Hey! How are you?!" and then it was over. No biggie.

So far: Hugs-1, Weak "Hey"- Zero.

Anyone care to experiment with me?
(Again, didn't mean to sound dirty.)


Kelly said...

I had a friend once who was wonderful about telling you she loved you. I never found it awkward that everytime we hung up the phone we exchanged I love you's. It was our thing. But only our thing. I could NEVER tell someone randomly that I love them. I want to, but I just can't.

Fast forward a few years and I have a new friend that does this too. I love this about people and want to be like that. But I just can't.

P.S.--My dad is a total hugger...he loves to hug. No one seems to find it strange and thank God my mother doesn't get jealous when he hugs the little old ladies at church :) You can do it. You can be a hugger.....maybe ;)

Cayce said...

Well it's going to be a sort of "nature vs nurture" debate with regards to hugging. Should be interesting. For me, anyway. :) I've found life gets more fun when I take risks, even such small ones. Have you ever actually tried to be like your friend who shares how she feels so freely?

Amber Lee said...

You are hysterical.

I'll be honest, I was not hugged as a child. Not a lot anyway. My parents were not affectionate and we didn't say I love you. Enter Nathan, who tells me he loves me every 17 seconds, would live in my armpit if he could, and still kisses his family on the mouth. It took me a LONG time to be okay with that all that... touching. But once I got used to it, I craved it if he was gone.

So I became a hugger. I, obviously, vowed that my children will be hugged and touched and smothered with 'I love yous'. Sometimes when I'm upset, I will go ask one of them for a hug and they know they need to squeeze tight :) But I started hugging the people I care about, people I was genuinely happy to see.

I read in my devotional that love is not a feeling, it is a choice, an action, a way of behaving, a commitment- that kind of struck me. The Bible says we should show love whenever we have the opportunity (Galatians 6:10).

So... I go in for the hug. You never know when it will brightens someone's whole day! Or your own :)

Cayce said...

See, J and I straight up shower each other and the children with hugs/kisses/words of affection. That's where it stops, though.
Nathan's a mouth-kisser, huh? See, I told you they look like the rest of us! :)
Thank you for sharing all you shared. I definitely feel like this is a worthy goal now! It's making me push myself but aren't all the best things worth working for? I just feel like God is leading me to this change for some reason...

Rachel said...

Just to set the record straight, I don't think you're crazy. I think you're funny! You totally make me laugh. I love your perspective on things and your honesty.
xoxo (hugs AND kisses!)

Cayce said...

whoa whoa whoa, rachel. let's make sure the kisses stay virtual kisses. ;)