"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Top 10 Ways to Destroy a Holiday Inflatable:*

10. Serve it some punch. With your fist.

9. Hurl a copy of the HOA bylaws at it.

8. Cut loose the tie-downs with your stroller.

7. Give it a good cleaning -- with a pressure washer.

6. Take your family-friendly vehicle and get all Dukes of Hazard on its ass.

5. Hog tie it with one of the owners' strands of orange and purple Halloween lights.

4. BB Gun drive-by.

3. Coat inflatable in peanut butter. Apply birdseed liberally.

2. Three words: Sharpened Candy Canes.

1. Bottle rockets. The same house with halloween lights and huge inflatables is destined to have fireworks.

*I am in no way advocating violence, destruction of private property, or law-breaking in any fashion. This is meant purely as a joke.
No giant Santa's were harmed in the making of this blog post.
I actually only detest the huge ones. The others don't bother me so much, but I'll never admit it out loud.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

This made me laugh sooooo hard! I also HATE this and I just told Jordan the other day that I hadn't seen as many this year, so I hope that means they are going out of style (If they ever were in style?!?!). Thanks for this. My finals week really needed it!