Dear My-side-of-the-bed,



I'm sorry. I know I've been distant lately.

What can I say? Having children ain't all spontaneous hugs and squeals of glee.
Sometimes they get sick with colds that last seemingly forever and morph into pink eye and ear infections.
Sometimes they get new teeth in.
Sometimes they jump up and down and cry in their crib because they pooped and don't want to sleep in it and then even after changing them, soothing them, feeding them, and promising them you will name the next child you will never have after them if they will just let you get a couple hours of continuous sleep-- they still won't give it up.



I know you are lonely. I know you don't think I'm committed to this relationship.
Believe me when I tell you that this is hurting me as much as it is hurting you.
This morning I took a shower to try to feel human again. I started the water, stepped in the shower... and realized I still had my underwear on.

Next I began the day-long process of giving myself a caffeine transfusion.
My blood is no longer suitable for pregnant vampires.

I hope we can have a rendezvous this evening, but we might have to keep it short and sweet.

Sometimes life happens.